The Literary Diet

Any one out there wish they could lose a few pounds? You’re not alone. According to the National Academy Press, tens of millions of people in the United States are dieting. At the same time, there are numerous studies that prove diets don’t work.
Dieting is a lot like writing. It’s takes commitment and discipline, but even more, it’s about creating new habits. Like dieting, when it’s going well, writing is joyful and strengthens your self-esteem. But when you’ve plateaued and you’re stuck, it can be agonizing.
I’ve read all the diet books. One message is clear--to be thin, you must see yourself as a thin person and think like a thin person. This is effective advice for writers as well. Tell yourself and the world that you are a writer. Treat yourself like a writer. Stand up for what you’ve written. Visualize yourself completing a novel, publishing articles, accepting awards—whatever defines success is for you. See yourself doing what you dream--believe it—and it can be a reality.
When we start out on a diet we often set a goal for our weight loss. We usually know what we’d like to weigh. We might add five pounds as a cushion, but we have a goal weight. As a writer, do you know what your goal is? Do you have a plan and a way to get there? A standard time management rule is to take big, often seemingly insurmountable, projects and break them down into small pieces. Taking small, baby steps toward a goal helps in dieting and in writing. Don’t focus on losing 50 pounds, just the first five. Don’t focus on writing a 350-page novel, only the first scene.
A diet counselor will often ask a patient what they gain from being fat. They probe to see if there is some benefit to a person holding onto their weight. What benefit do you receive by not writing? Do you save yourself from fear? Protect yourself from rejection? Guard yourself from the changes success might bring? Fear of success is often hard to admit but recognition might actually propel you to new levels of achievement.
Losing weight, like being a writer, isn’t about teamwork. Weight-loss support groups are helpful and inspiring, and they are often the key to dieting success. But the group itself doesn’t take the weight off. Joining a writers group will support you but the writing is something you must do alone. Going to classes and writers conferences doesn’t make you a writer. Getting energized and going home to write afterward does.
Dieting isn’t easy. In dieting, quick fixes, fasting, diet pills and other ‘miracle cures’ don’t work. Making long-term life-style eating changes and creating new exercise habits to live a healthier life does. Any writer with commitment, a strong vision of success, and a whole lot of patience can achieve more than they ever dreamed.

Reveling in Writers

Attending a writers conference is like dropping yourself into a hive of bees. Everyone is buzzing around frantically looking for someone to pay attention to them, to find someone to connect with, to find an agent or editor to give a thumbs-up to their dream. But it is also a swarm of bees working together, working to create something, to fashion a hive together.
I love hanging out with writers. They’re like my real family, the people who get it, who get me. Most of them are crazy, of course. Some certifiably nuts—or are we all nuts for embarking on this stressful, yet sometimes joyous journey?
As I walk the halls, people buzzing around me, I feel an incredible energy. Creativity oozes from the passers-by and I feel inspired just moving along with the crowd. I relish in the short conversations with these folks who have similar goals. They are all ages, ethnicities, and genders (although always more women—is it because we are more social creatures?) Our lives are all different, yet the same.
I suck up the energy and hope to store it like a bees store honey for later when I’m alone writing and feeling stuck, or thinking all my writing is crap. So later at home, when my teenager is crabby and wondering why mom is off to another writing event, I’ll recall those memories of energy and revel in the fact that I am a writer and I’m not alone in this crazy, frustrating, miraculous pursuit.

Truth in advertising...

Let this be a warning to all writers: Be sure you can back up that promise of literary gold.

Because I'm a writer of YA I naturally have to read the competition a.k.a the latest phenom fad Twilight. I have lot's of thoughts and feelings about this series, but mostly I enjoy it (and its sibling cinematic franchise) for its ability to entertain me.

When I recently saw this cover screaming at me from the checkout stand I couldn't help but buy it (good news for OK!). I'm usually more leery about these things, but I couldn't BELIEVE they'd flash a headline like this unless there was a serious truth behind it.

There wasn't.

In fact, it wasn't any kind of exclusive story because the only 'wedding' they discussed was from the fourth installment, Breaking Dawn.

This was some of the worse speculative 'reporting' I've ever read. At least with other so-close-to-libel-it-hurts stories there will be a tiny on-cover print that says 'As imagined by our writers' or some other disclaimer.

There was none of that here.

Suffice it to say I was P-O'd.

What does this have to do with writing??

Well, I'm glad you ask.

Once you've finished that brilliant manuscript and are ready to shop it around, you'll struggle (and I mean STRUGGLE) with writing a brilliant, mind blowing, catchy, and totally unique query letter.

You'll bend over backwards to make your novel's plot sound so cool, you might even consider fluffing it. I'm not saying you're looking to lie, goodness no, but you might write, rewrite and workshop it so much that your book's promise is more than what you deliver.

Things agents look for in your query include a snap shot of your novel's tone AND your style as a writer.

If you finish your glorious 300-word all-encompassing mini tale and pitch and you read it and are like 'meh'...STOP. Be 100% certain it isn't actually mimicking your story's style because if it is then...well you're being totally honest. That's good, but you may need some more rewriting.

If your novel makes you laugh, cry, shudder, etc. (and all in a good way of course) each time you think about it AND your query does the same, then you're promising is in line with what you can deliver.

Seriously, this is so important these days.

Earlier this year there was a flutter of posts (and they tend to pop up routinely) on agent blogs regarding the perfection of queries that only disappoint in the delivery of the novel.

Two things happen here: 1) The agent is ticked off for having been a fool and having their time wasted. 2) You'll be left in the dust wondering what happened to that excited agent.

So, back to the moral. How you sell yourself matters. Don't promise what you can't deliver because it's something akin to crying wolf.

I sure as heck won't be buying OK! again anytime in the foreseeable future or ever for that matter. I only tolerate getting burned like this once.

I'd hate to submit a 'misleading' query to an agent like me, and I'm certain there are more than a few of them like that out there.

It's Been Written Before

My new all-time favorite writing website isn't about writing at all. It's called TV Tropes, and it's about the "tropes" we see over and over in TV, movies, literature [there we are], and video games.

That's a long list.

I happen to be reading Stephen King's breakout novel, Carrie. I looked it up on TV Tropes and got a hell of a list. Here are the first 22 tropes in that movie. Notice that those 22 constitute only the first three letters of the alphabetical list.

#

This movie contains examples of:

Abusive Parents: Margaret takes this to an extreme.

Acceptable Religious Targets: Christian fundamentalists.

• Although, to be fair, Stephen King does make it clear in his book that Margaret's behaviour is not typical of most Christians.
  

Adaptation Decay or Adaptation Distillation: The original film had to cut a lot of scenes from the book (namely Carrie's rampage through town and a flashback scene), mainly due to budgetary concerns. However, Stephen King finds the movie to be the best adaptation of his books, and has even said that he wished he had thought of some of the scenes in this film when he was writing the book.

Adaptation Displacement: Most people (this troper included) have only heard of the book as a result of this movie.

Adaptational Attractiveness: In the book, Carrie is portrayed as being rather pudgy and covered in acne. In the film, she is played by Sissy Spacek.

• To be fair, her crippling shyness does hinder her beauty by some.
  

All Of The Other Reindeer

Alliterative Name: Sue Snell.

Anvilicious: It's one thing to point out that bullying is bad (mmmkay?). It's something else entirely to turn nearly everyone (other than the protagonist) into either an overblown Jerk Ass or a complete whackjob to drive the point home. On the other hand, this is exactly how a troubled teenager might see the world, so it might just be a case of identification with the protagonist.

Asshole Victim: Let's face it, Billy and Chris kind of had it coming. For that matter, so did everyone at the prom (except Tommy, who was pissed off at his date's humiliation).

Ballroom Blitz

Beautiful All Along: Carrie at the prom, where everybody comments on how good she looks.

Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Averted hard. Carrie gets doused with pig blood in her prom dress.

Berserk Button: Carrie can't stand blood.

Beware The Nice Ones: Pretty much the moral of the whole story.

Billing Displacement: Home video releases of the film give John Travolta top billing, even though Billy was a fairly minor character.

Blessed With Suck: Carrie's powers cause her mother to think that she's an evil witch and try to kill her. In the original novel, Carrie winds up killing herself by overusing her powers.

Blood Splattered Wedding Dress: Prom dress, actually.

Censor Steam: The television edit put in a ton of CGI steam to hide all the nudity in the opening five minutes.

Coming Of Age Story: Albeit one that goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Confessional: Margaret White has one in her house, where she locks Carrie periodically. It is decorated with horrifically vengeful images of God and Jesus.

Cool Car: Billy, Chris' boyfriend, drives a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle. Shame that Carrie blows it up.

• In the remake, Billy drives a Cool Truck. It suffers a similar fate — Carrie slams it against a tree. Roof first.
  

Crucified Hero Shot: Carrie's mother, in her final shot, impaled with steak knives in the style of the Christ on the Cross picture in the confessional.

#

It's educational. It's fun. It eats up all your time, so you won't get anything else done tonight. Enjoy!